How a Mom Showers…

It is five in the morning, I’ve already pumped a bottle and now I am trying to get a shower real quick before the baby wakes up. How long do I have? Five minutes? Ten? Possibly even twenty? If twenty, should I attempt to shave my legs? I check the baby monitor one last time before I step into the hot water. The countdown begins.

As I lather my hair with shampoo, I think of all the things I need to get done before I leave for work. I need to let the dog out, set milk out to thaw, make my lunch, empty the dishwater, set chicken out to thaw, pick out her clothes (husband is colorblind and my baby needs to match), AND the stuff I didn’t do last night because I fell asleep on the couch during a TV show at 8:30 pm. Lame, I know. What was I doing again? Oh right, shampooing.

Now as I rinse then run some conditioner through my hair, I think of all the stuff I need to do after I get home from work. I need to nurse Jovie, cook dinner, clean up dinner, do a load of laundry, work out (maybe but probably not), and do the bedtime routine. Maybe one day I’ll find a balance.

Have I rinsed this out yet? Oh well, apply more then wash your body as you brush your teeth. Multitasking is a must.

The necessities are done; hair is clean, body is washed, teeth are brushed. I lean my head out and I check the monitor one last time, still snoozing. Should I go ahead and get out? Should I stay and shave? If I get out now, that’s ten more minutes of snuggle time that I could have. As I bend down and run my hand up my leg, my inner woman screams and runs in horror. I look at my long-lost friend, Miss Razor, and we nod in agreement at the risk we are about to take.

Left calf.. CHECK! Wait.. was that a cry? Shew, false alarm. I hurry and finish the second calf just to be safe. I’m still good. I am able to finish one thigh before I lean my head out one last time……


OH GEEZE. WHAT IS THAT? Why is she looking straight through the camera and into my soul? I place Miss Razor back in her holder, until tomorrow dear friend.

I cringe as I reach for my towel and notice my armpits. Long sleeves it is because those bad boys have to wait until tomorrow along with my other thigh. It’s winter, what was I thinking anyways. Deep breath and away we go.


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